Bones of Contention

The time has come to sack the cleaner.

It has been a sore spot between my wife and I for a long time. She wants the cleaner and I don't. The thing is, the money we give him to shuffle around for three hours could go towards something more worthwile if I took over the cleaning. Like a couple of CDs and a book. But my wife doesn't trust me, and says I won't do the cleaning properly. But the cleaner doesn't do the cleaning properly, I argue. And so it goes on.

Last week my wife was here when the cleaner called. He said his goodbyes after shuffling around for two hours instead of three. I pick up the thread of our argument, saying I could do the cleaning, but the wife informs me that we will only be paying him for two hours in future. I consider ways to reduce him to one hour for a few days when he calls with a mysterious message saying that he will be 'away' for two weeks.

I see my chance. I spend my day off cleaning. It becomes like an episode of 'How clean is your house'. I realise how unclean the house has actually become. I know my wife will return tonight and embark on a full inspection, perhaps even producing the 'white glove'. I clean on regardless, plotting the end of the cleaner after his two weeks 'away'.

I've finished now and the house is gleaming throughout. I'm off now to buy a couple of CDs. Before my wife gets back.