Carry on Camping

Yesterday was a morning of tent-browsing, a lunchtime of tent-buying and an afternoon of tent-erecting in the rain.

After much walking in and out of display tents, we eventually opted for the Halford's starter pack, which includes several sleeping bags and airbeds. I thought it was an amazing deal, although my wife kept exclaiming "it hasn't got mud-flaps!"

Keen to set it all up when we got home, I charged out into the garden with my daughter. We spread the tent out on the grass and lined up all the various poles and pegs. Just as I was beginning to realise how big a job it was going to be, and just as she was asking "do we have to do this?", it started to rain.

I struggled on in the wet, determined to hoist up the huge structure, closing the back door on my protesting wife. They watched me through the window as I struggled against the elements, eventually coming out to help as the rain eased off. Went and sat in the tent for a while when it was up just to prove that it was all worth it, even though it had started to rain now quite heavily.

I'm not sure if they're going to enjoy camping.

Tents

It's nearly August. Frightening.

Went for an agonising run. I really don't know how I am going to do this half marathon, especially as we seem to be dining on belly pork at every opportunity. Will have to take it easy on the food in France. Maybe take my trainers.

The latest thing here is tents. We plan to get one and to use it, pitching it somewhere in France on our long drive back at the end of our holiday. We haven't camped before and it could be a disaster. On the other hand, we could end up loving it. All I ask for is a good toilet block and showers.

A trip to Halfords and countless camping websites has made us tent experts overnight but the crunch comes tomorrow. We set off to buy one.

A Blog is for Life

During my time as a sixth former in the 1980s we had a visitor at school who lectured us on his predictions for the future. Apparently, within 20 years or so we would all be hooked up to computers in our homes where we would be able to communicate with one another, read the news from our screens and even publish our own thoughts for others to read. I have always remembered this as, although 20 years on seemed an eternity away, I did not doubt the gentleman's predictions. It just all sounded so horrible...

So here we are. I'm certainly hooked up to a computer a lot of the time, and I'm reading the news and publishing my thoughts but it's not so horrible as I've also got a young child, a nice house, I go on lots of holidays and I'm enjoying the latest Harry Potter. The gentleman predicted only some of the future.

It is true that I have almost given up television these days. On the plus side, the pursuit of blogging takes up time otherwise used up by other pursuits such as watching Big Brother. On the minus, there is the danger of becoming obsessed with your blog. If I don't tend to it every day I get a worried feeling which, when you think about it, is completely mad.

Questions also surround this strange activity. How long to keep up your blog? Why not change it completely every so often, like you would give a website a makeover? Who is supposed to read your blog? Who is reading it? Perhaps nobody, where the appearance of '0 comments' becomes commonplace. How often to post on your blog? And so on.

Wonder what the clever gentleman is doing these days. Probably nothing to do with computers at all, he's already foreseen what's coming next. And he won't be telling us on a blog.

Oh well, time to press on with Harry Potter.

Posted by Beaky. 9.30 pm. O comments.

Sleepy Head

Tiring weekend ending with the local harbour festival. Same old acts and faces, including the Nigerian acrobats who danced, jumped and limboed around for an eternity. I stood with the sun in my face for an hour and then we headed off home in the pouring rain.

Have noticed my postings getting shorter.

I've Never Met a Girl Like You Before

Although I can't pinpoint where it started, I am responsible for my wife's obsession with 'Eastenders'. When we first met, I was a casual viewer, but where I looked at it out of the corner of my eye I slowly began to notice her watching it with the full-on gaze of two.

Slowly, over the years, the addiction began to take hold. She began to refer to it as 'my programme', it's name now unmentionable. Now it is an unmissable fixture in our lives, and I am cast as supervisor to her viewing, forever answering to "is my programme on tonight?"

Dirty Des.

Wha'ppen?

First day of my long summer break. Quick visit to Habitat to pick up the sunscreen come sail for my wife's birthday. Heaven knows how I'm going to put it up (hooks and screws have been mentioned. I stand near the door in case drills come into it).

Quick visit to a French market, to get us in the mood for our holiday next week. Bought some expensive potatoes and expensive French biscuits. Passed on the expensive French bread.

Quick visit to the country club. It's almost deserted although my daughter manages to befriend the few other children there. I try to make progress with Harry Potter. We eventually leave on the promise of French biscuits.

Eye Spy

I don't know about you, but I'm burdened by too much information in this internet age. Last night I listened to two parts of a documentary about The Kinks, desperately trying to finish the first in internet time before the second started in real time on the radio. All my fussing around prevented me from actually appreciating it all.

Roll on our holidays, and I only have one day left at work before my six weeks off. Our big office move looms, and I spent the day emptying small bins into larger bins and packing away files and pieces of computer hardware I have never seen before.

Back at home, I have a 'Eureka!' moment although I am not in the bath, but sitting as usual at the computer. I manage to work out how to fix up my website with its own search engine, which I think is pretty good going as I've only been dabbling with PHP and MySQL for about a week.

Roll on our holidays, when I will be far removed from the internet.

My daughter brought home an enormous body of work as she nears the end of Year One. A couple of the pieces of artwork she showed me were excellent, especially a pastel drawing of an eye. Her own eye, in fact. A self-eye portrait. Also very good was a Picasso-style drawing and what I would like to think were some dabblings with cubism.

And Pablo Picasso, he did have the most penetrating eyes.

Club Country

It's baking so what the hell. My wife and I decide to join an expensive country club for the summer period. Although it costs the earth, it's worth every penny and for a few hours on Sunday it's like being on holiday. Lounging by the pool and reading, leaping into the pool, strolling over to the children's play area, ordering a pot of tea for two. When I compare it to the shabby open air public pool we visited last week the old cliche 'you get what you pay for' rings true.

A boy on the walking bus this morning was screeching "Snape killed Dumbledore! Snape killed Dumbledore! He is the half-blood prince!" Now, I wouldn't normally be bothered, but I queued up in Woolworth's to buy the latest Harry Potter and now, if this little urchin is right, it's all been spoilt. Heaven knows how he read it so quickly, although a couple of people at the Country Club yesterday looked like they were nearly finished.

We'd driven to London and back for a kid's party. Mad, I know. So I threw in the Potter purchase and an hour in a secondhand bookshop. "Is that the new Harry Potter?" enquired the assistant. "Yes", I replied, "and I don't yet know who gets killed."

Monday and it's raining. Afternoon visit to the Country Club cancelled.

Nothing But the Sun

Walking bus training this morning. Obvious stuff like "don't walk in the road", although the council official kept pointing out that they were doing things wrong. At one point, I thought that the woman who runs the WB was going to snap.

Interesting programme on television last night. Jarvis Cocker going through lots of dodgy old pop clips. The usual things that all would class as dodgy; Leo Sayer in a duet with a blue-haired Gary Numan, Pete Murray doing mad, military-style dancing, Peter Glaze singing Bowie's heroes etc. Jarvis met Sir Jimmy Savile (thankfully, still insane) and proceded his visit with an old clip of Savile chasing women round a tree in Benny Hill style. I was also pleased to see, although only briefly, a clip of the Moody Blues singing 'Ride my See-saw' with their very peculiar late 60s backing vocalist. Also featured was 1950s pop tv producer turned monk Jack Good. Also totally, totally mad.

It's that man again.

Who's Next?

The website Outpost Gallifrey have finally used my Doctor Who review. Fame at last! Well, a fame of sorts although they do claim to have 22,000 readers daily. Read through it twice and only spotted one grammatical error, a misplaced apostrophe. The blasted Word spellcheck again.
They've revamped the website to mark my success, and although it is an American site I recognised one of the names in the editorial team from school. Now this is frightening, as when the new Doctor Who series started I spotted another old friend pictured in the Radio Times. Something to do with special effects. Old school associates keep turning up in the Who world.

The editorial guy ran his own Doctor Who fanzine at the time with my friend Robert. Still at it, obviously.

Come to think of it, I'm sure that many years ago the special effects guy insisted on coming round to my house to watch William Hartnell and the Daleks after I'd won the video in a raffle. We watched the six or seven episodes in one go and - I kid you not - we laughed at the cheap effects.

Anyway, shouldn't think they'd approve of this picture of former assistant to the Doctor Katy Manning, aka Jo Grant. I think this was taken after she had quit the series.

Cold beers tonight I fear to deal with this heatwave. Work is a sauna, and I sat there dripping yesterday with my glasses steaming up. Left early, but was confronted by the people next door who wanted the old settee I'd put out for the council to take away. Even though I'd paid the council fifteen pounds I let them have it and when I looked out of the window it had already gone, somehow magicked to the shed at the bottom of their garden.

Apart from cold beers it is the weather that requires several showers a day. Unfortunately part of the shower came away in my wife's hands this morning, although I was awarded the blame for it. I superglued it back on, but during my afternoon shower just now I not only managed to break it off again, but to drop it down part of the shower door, which is hollow.

Is the new Harry Potter book out soon? I fear I have lost interest in the saga.

Visited an Infant School this morning to help with their website, fresh from my Doctor Who success. I was greeted with the whole assembly singing 'Is this the way to Amarillo?'

Holiday Reading

Selected my holiday reading today. Inevitably it was a 3 for 2 offer and I went for Alan Hollinghurst's 'In the Line of Beauty', William Sutcliffe's 'Bad influence' and Neil Jordan's 'Shade' after holding several dozen other combinations of three. Standing in Waterstone's I realised that my mouth had started to bleed, which was bizarre although luckily I avoided a 'blood on books' incident.

Finished Jonathan Coe's 'The Closed Circle' and I take back what I said about it. From about halfway through I really enjoyed it. Very poignant writing about sinking into middle age and how the past haunts you, especially one's formative years.

Heatwave is on, which is a good thing if you enjoy either wearing or the spotting of unusual hats. A man was walking into Tescos today in a huge straw hat without a care in the world. I can't talk myself, as I have been wearing an explorer-type hat in sunnier moments. I suspect that my wife doesn't approve, as she keeps saying "where is that nice hat I bought you?"

An example of a hat.

Comfy Chairs

My wife keeps buying settees and sofa beds. Everywhere I look I see sofas: in left open catalogues and magazines, on computer screens. My contribution to the project has been arranging for the council to collect our old settee, such is the current demand for sofa space.

Had our 'Beauty and the Beast' theatre trip this afternoon. I had a very good view as the person in front of me was asleep, but failed to fully enjoy the show following and argument with my daughter over an ice cream. A lady to my left kept shouting "tea and biscuits!" although I failed to reach this level of excitement. My biggest achievement was to time my interval toilet visit perfectly.

We are going out tonight with our friends Pops and his wife. Pops shares his birthday with my wife which was last Thursday, the day of the London bombings. She was actually due for a visit to London that day, but events forced her to cancel. Didn't realise the enormity of it all until I got home from work, as there they were busy with office moves and telephone extensions. The three of us went out to a local restaurant, enjoyable but virtually empty.

So it's Pops and his wife tonight. The girl next door is babysitting. The one with the hat.

I Saw it at the Movies

Britain are hosting the 2012 Olympics but I don't know how I should act, how excited I'm supposed to be. I'm not even sure if olympics is big 'O' or little 'o'. Two old ladies were talking about it in Oxfam today and one of them said "I suppose we'll be dead by then" and they both fell about laughing.

Watched 'Heavenly Creatures' last night, starring a pre-Titanic Kate Winslett and directed by a pre-Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson. What a tedious film. Too many fantasy sequences (which is what he obviously goes in for). At least we were spared his usual three hour running time.

This one was taped from the television, but I need to find a decent DVD outlet. I am fed up walking into the libarary and then straight out again with nothing because their film selection is so poor. I sometimes have to leave it a couple of months on the off chance that there is the possibility of at least one new title there when I go back.

What's on TV tonight? I shudder to think, although no doubt olympics/Olympics euphoria.

Rave On

Sleep has come to me easily after all the excitement at the weekend.

My wife has admitted that my cleaning on Fridays is rather good, so I will now close this topic. It is her birthday on Thursday and she has asked for one or two unusual presents. One of them is a stair basket, one of those things you rest on the stairs to fill with general paraphernalia, such as other birthday presents. The catch is that this item, or the type she wants, is only available in Cornwall.
Another request she has made is for a canvas structure that you attach to the outside of the house to create a shade against the sun. This can be purchased in Habitat, but is unavailable at the moment. This is just as well as the weather is currently unsuitable for any sort of outdoor activity.

So my daughter and I have bought and wrapped several alternative presents, including the obligatory large box of chocolates, and something from the handy alternative gift shop down the road. There will come a time when either my wife or I will have bought all of their stock.

Here be Dragons

Apart from a very brief visit to the St. Pauls carnival, I spent all day in front of Live 8 on Saturday, and apart from a couple of dodgy turns from Velvet Revolver and Mariah Carey I hugely enjoyed it. It was good to see The Who again, and even good to see Pink Floyd again, although I don't recall seeing them in the flesh before. Just visions of floating pigs, walking hammers and brick walls.
I wonder if Syd Barrett was watching.

Saw our friends Pops and his wife at the local music in the park on Sunday. Also there were the local society who I am preparing a website for. I gingerly approached their stall to greet them and, before I knew what was happening, they had sat me down with a lengthy questionnaire to fill in. I filled it out quickly, slipped away and joined the shortest of the numerous queues for food.

Some good music but, as is usual for these events, some very, very weird dancing.

Went into my daughter's school this afternoon to help out. Art week, apparently. Saw the woman from the walking bus ahead of me but she was walking so fast I couldn't catch her up. She is certainly a good walker. Spent the afternoon helping to make dragons out of clay, and then clearing up the clay. The dragons were very good, enhanced I hope from my input. Wings, claws, scales: we did the lot.
The other parent-helpers appeared to be keener on the cleaning up side of things than the dragon making, rigourously giving all tables and chair a decent sponge. Even the woman from the walking bus made an appearance with a scrubbing brush and a bucket.

Had an email from my friend KLAAG saying he didn't rate The Who at Live 8. Again we disagree, and I suppose we will disagree more when we meet up for a drink in a couple of weeks.

Found this picture of Pete Townsend, from bygone days. Monochrome and moody.

Ian Hendry

For the record, Michael Caine says in 'Get Carter':

"you're a big man, but you're out of shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself".

It's always misquoted by people like Jonathan Ross and Steve Wright and his cronies. If you are going to quote from the film, get it right.

I could never work out why he threw Alf Roberts off the roof, though.

Thinking about 'Get Carter' got me thinking about Ian Hendry and my tape of 'Tales From the Crypt'. My friend BP had mentioned this obscure, early 1970s horror compendium from the giants of such films, Amicus. He'd remembered seeing it in his youth and how particularly frightening one part of the film was which featured Ian Hendry.

In 'Tales from the Crypt', several actors who you would appear to find in such a film get lost whilst touring some caves. They come face to face with a sinister Ralph Richardson dressed as a monk who gleefully reveals to each of them their grisly fates. Amongst them are Joan Collins, Nigel Patrick and Ian Hendry.

Hendry's segment is called something like 'Reflections on Death' and is above average for such a film. He plays a man who decides to leave his family for his mistress, becomes involved in a car crash, walks away from the burning wreckage and returns to his former home to be greeted by screams of horror from his wife and children. He then visits his mistress, now blind, who tells him that he must be mistaken because her lover died in the crash. He glances down at a glass coffee table to see his burnt face...

It's genuinely creepy partly because Hendry plays the whole thing straight. The Amicus films also usually had modern settings, so we have modern flats with lifts instead of castles with staircases and this is also, somehow, unsettling.

The film was recently shown on a late-night slot and, thinking of BP, I taped it and gave him the cassette. I wrote 'Ian Hendry' on the box and this was all it took; he looked at the tape and looked at me like he had just seen the reflection of a ghoul in a glass coffee table. He thanked me, but somehow I knew that he would never watch it...

In the Summertime

To be honest with you, I haven't been following all this Live 8 business too closely.

I have a vague idea of who is playing. U2 I imagine and did I hear Coldplay? is Phil Collins doing all of the drumming again?

I guess I will watch it, or as much as I can between other things. Not with the enthusiasm of Live Aid 20 years ago where I even sat through Sade, Howard Jones and the strange Bob Dylan appearance.

Radio 2 still continue to play Mungo Jerry, and even had a competition about them this morning. Why? I think because Richard Allison was on, the annoying DJ who is only ever on when the usual DJs are on holiday (so he is in full employment this time of year). He seems to belong to an earlier era of radio, based on painful jokes and tunes that were considered oldies in 1976.

An image kept entering my mind of Dave Lee Travis wrestling with a fellow DJ on Top of the Pops, either Jimmy Saville or Noel Edmonds. Writing this, I managed to find the image just by looking it up on Google.

Now, does anybody remember Jimmy Saville doing an unusual dance whilst dressed as Father Christmas, accompanying most probably Slade. I bet it's preserved out there if you dare look. Such is the power of the internet.